I am blessed to have lived and experienced through my 20s!

I am blessed to have lived and experienced through my 20s! If I die tomorrow, I can say, “The decade was amazing!” I lived it to the fullest! I cried often. I laughed so much. I loved it like there was no tomorrow! I experienced pain and sorrow. I fell in love in various forms, ways and people. I found love: my soulmate and bestfriend! I experienced the joy and self love from giving back not only in the local communities but also globally. I ate delicious food from various countries and I got sick too! Hahah! I walked on land that most people have not been to. I learned to swim in many different oceans, seas, lakes and rivers! I accomplished many goals that I told myself to do back in my freshmen year. I fell down hard couples of times, yet I got back up again. I saw the world from 3 different angles. I found peace in yoga. I met incredible people who inspired me and are still in my life.  They taught me what I supposed to learn at that moment and believed in me. I challenged myself, explored and discovered my identity and roots! Basically, I have grown so much these years; mentally, emotionally and spiritually! Cheers to the 30s! Hugs in love and Namaste to everyone on earth! :)

First Yoga Audition, First Rejection... But NOT the Last!

Yesterday morning, I found out that I didn’t get the internship I auditioned for yoga two weeks ago at the CorePower Yoga studios. It hurts because no one likes to be rejected or turned down, especially if you worked so hard towards it. Over a year ago, I didn’t get what appeared then to be my dream job and that one I worked my whole Master’s degree towards, actually my whole life! I was shocked, depressed for few weeks and my confident was nowhere to be found and low self-esteem was my best friend! I felt my world was turned upside down! From that experience, I learned that it was not a failure or that I was not good enough. I found out that something else was a better fit for me at that moment. I was meant to do something else.

I took Yoga Teacher Training 9 months ago and through that process, I slowly gain back my confident, self respect and self love! Beyond my imagination, I learned that I enjoy and love teaching yoga a lot! In other words, I didn’t lose anything from this experience; if anything, I gain new knowledge, and perspective in life, friendships, growth, and most importantly the love and respect for myself! Thank you to all of my yogis’ colleagues, teachers, coaches and managers at the CorePower Yoga for being a part of my yoga’s journey and growth thus far. I am grateful for your feedbacks, advices and honesty. Best of luck to all of my yogis friends in all that you do. Much love and hugs! Namaste! :)

I am not supposed to be here…

I am not supposed to be here…

Since the day I was born in the middle of the jungle in between conflict war zone, I was told that I am not supposed to be here. Statistic has proven that if you were in the foster youth system and depended on the welfare program, growing up, that you are not supposed to be here. You are not even supposed to graduate from high school!

The day I came to America, I was already behind. At 8 years old, I didn’t know a word of English nor my parents. I had never experience any kind of formal education system. I learned the first system in America, which was “sink or swim.”

I was told in high school that I shouldn’t go to college, especially a UC system because of my limited in English. Instead, I took that full-ride to UC Santa Cruz and graduated with honor! That person might have been right, but taken three extra English classes and worked two jobs my freshmen year in college, allowed me to catch up with my fellow colleagues and was able to treat myself to Thai food once in awhile. In other words, don’t let anyone tell you that you are not worth it or that you can’t do something that you set your heart towards. Always know that anything is possible. It just matters of time, luck, and the right people who believe in you and will help you through your journey to get there.

The day of my graduation was the first time my parents had step foot on a college campus and visited me! I remembered mom and dad were so proud! It was like their dreams had come true too! Their eldest daughter graduated from college! Mom never had education and dad didn’t even finish high school because of the Vietnam War. I would say it was one of the biggest proud moments in my 20s!

I am Beautiful!

This morning for the very first time, I looked in the mirror and told myself that I am beautiful!

Mom said,” My daughter, I am sorry that I wasn’t there for you when you had your chickenpox. I was giving birth to your brother. You kept itching your face. There was no one there to stop you. Now, you have scars from it. You are dark like me. In my culture, this is considered ugly. You have the dark skin and scars on your face. Oh my poor daughter. That is ok my daughter. Sometimes, beautiful people have such ugly soul and personality. You have a beautiful soul…your dad and I don’t have much to give to you and your younger siblings. But we have a lot of love for you kids. Now that we are in America, I need you to not forget what we have taught you about ours values, cultures, traditions, and ours morals and don’t forget where you came from…  I need you to respect the elder, to have compassion for the poor, the disable, women and children and even the rich people too. I need you to give back when is possible, I need you to be strong for our family because after your father and I, you are next in line to take care the family. Your father and I don’t speak English. I need you to be the brave one to help us with our new lives here. Your father and I got us here. It is up to you kids. Always appreciate anything that is given to you and anyone in your life. Most importantly, I want you to value education. I never had the opportunity to go to school. I don’t even know how to help you with this. I know you will find a way to do so. You are in America now. Where the opportunity for education is for everyone! So take advantage of that, ok?

When you are kind to people, they will remember you. When you are generous, they will remember you. When you think of other, they will remember you.

Beautiful soul, beautiful mind, and beautiful heart that who you are; people will remember you. Ugly in the inside, people don’t want to be around you. They might be at first but in the end, you will be alone. If you do these things that I have taught you and will continue to guide you, you will continue to have a beautiful soul, mind and heart.

I get it now mom. Thank you!

A Celebration of Chanthan Life...

“Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity.” Buddha

Our beloved mother passed away last Saturday morning…

We hope you could join us this Saturday to remember our caring and loving mother, a wife & a friend:

A Celebration of Chanthan Life

Saturday, April 13, 2013

10:00AM: Buddhist Monks Service

12:30 PM: Parade Around the Lake

1:30PM: Buddhist Chatting/Blessing
601 Crane Street, Suite D, Lake Elsinore, CA 92530

With Love and Gratitude

Aftermath of Death: The Day Of...Comes Grief.

Dear mom, I miss you already. Even though I am sad, I know you are at PEACE and in a better place now. No more suffering and/or pain. I know you believe in reincarnation. In your new life, may your spirit be rebirth with excellent health, long life, joy, love, happiness, and no suffering. You will always be missed and loved. I know your spirit will always be with us. Matter of fact, I did yoga outside this morning, and I felt your presence there with me…I love you, mom. Your eldest daughter Rest In Peace Mom.

Acceptance of Death

Isn’t funny how life works sometimes? It throws some joyful moments into the journey along with sadness and suffering at the same time. All one can do, is just be and experience it. Take it one day at a time, as I have been told to do. I guess even KG the dog, knows that mom doesn’t have that much time with us. He has been acting strangely and seems sad too. In the middle of everything, I found out that everyone deals with the situation differently. At this moment, yoga has seemed to be my way of coping... Everything in life has its beginnings and it ends. All we can do is to embrace it all that is offered… I know in our western culture, we are socially constructed to not talk about death. But just like birth, it is part of life. It is a constant battle for me too. Sometimes, I feel that there is nothing wrong to celebrate death as we do with birth. Other times because it brings so much pain to my heart just to think about it. As hard as it is to accept it, it is part of life, as I would tell myself. I don’t know how I am going to react or what will happen to me in the aftermath. All I know is that the loves, supports, and prayers from friends and family have helped. Your prayers, kind words, hangouts, and simple phone calls and/or text have got me through this far. I know most of you have not been through this yet and don’t know what to say. To be honest, you don’t really have to say much. Just being there and sharing your life experience with me, is a lot. Thank you for your continuous thoughts, positive energy, loves, and supports, and allow me to share my experience thus far with you, on this roaster coaster that I am dealing with, at this moment of my life. Thank you.

I Am the Product of Globalization...

I am the product of Globalization… Made in Thailand (middle of the jungle in a refugee camp). Just like my little Peris car, where it engine is from Japan, my roots are from Cambodia and Vietnam. Just like my favorite purse, which is made in Central America; I worked, lived, traveled and gave back in Costa Rica and Panama. I love to wear my favorite boots that are made from Switzerland, which reminds me of the time I attended a United Nation meeting, while interned with the UNHCR in Geneva. When I put on my favorite shirt and/or pant, the tag said, “Made in Indonesian or Malaysia.” When I Skype with my grandmother, I remember the amazing time that we spent together in Cambodia and Vietnam. Last but not least, a place I call home and where I grew up is, America. The ironic thing is that I am currently living in America, yet I still drive my Peris, wear my shirt, pant, and boots that are made overseas, just like me! I am the product of globalization.