Meeting Grandma for the First Time!

For 26th years I waited for this moment. Growing up without aunts, uncles, cousins and even grandparents was different in America. Today, I finally met my grandmother from my father side. She is the only grandparents I have left. Her husband passes away two years ago. My mother side, her father passed away more than five years ago. Her mother died when she was about five years old.

My only grandmother alive is about 80 years old. She has wrinkles all over her body and walk very slowly. She limp as she walk and her back bent a little. She is also in pain but pleasant to be around. It was a surprise that grandma came to visit. When I talked to her last week she was not sure when she will be coming. Last night she called my cousin Thon and told him that she is on her way to Phnom Penh. She seems to not make plan like most Cambodians here. If she feels like visiting and the conditions seem ok, she just buy a bus ticket and go. She travels far for an old lady. One of my oldest aunts came with her as well. I learned a new word today, tomp, which means older aunt. Since this aunt is older than my father she is called tomp instead of aunt. It means the same thing in English but is different in Khmer.



When I went to meet my grandma I was nervous and excited. It took us about half an hour drive to get to the bus station. The traffic prevents us to go any faster then we would like to. We made it to the bus station on time for her arrival. As the bus passed by right away, I can tell which one is my grandma. As I waited for all the motorcycles and tuk tuk driver fighting over customers, I took out my camera and started to take pictures. One of the worker asked why I am taking pictures. I replied, “I am taking a picture of my grandma. I am meeting her for the first time.” He let me continue to take pictures. He thought I was a reporter, if so I could not take pictures.



As grandma approach towards the door I walked slowly to meet her half way. She was one of the last people to get out of the bus. I made eyes contact with her and hug and hug and more long hugs. We cry and hug for awhile. This was very emotional moment for me. I guess it is for her too. I saw tears falling down my aunt cheeks as well. While grandma and I hug, she said, “Granddaughter for many years I haven’t met or known you. Grandma misses you.” So I had a good cry. We looked at each other and smile with tears while waiting for my other aunt and cousin getting the stuff out of the bus.

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Grandma brought a lot of goodies. She had about four large bags of fruits and food that she made from home. There were at least four different types of fruits that she brought from home. I thought to myself, “Wow grandma house must be very pretty and in the jungle. She said the fruits are from her backyard and the traditional Cambodian food she made them the night before yesterday.

Once we got home is a whole new story. Everyone and anyone that I have seen or have not met come to greet my grandma as if she is a famous person. Most of the Khmer Krom which is my father side all live nearby and know each other very well. So when the news spread it spread throughout Phnom Penh! It must be very exhausting for her to have travel more than 12 hours at night to come to visit. She did not seen tired or at least she hind it very well. She greets people as they come to say hello with fruits and food. They all are from her home town and it appears they love her cooking too. So they eat the fruits and chat with her for a little bit while the next person in line waiting patiently to see her. I watch carefully every detail of grandma interaction with others for at least a good hour. Meanwhile, I took a lot of pictures. The greeting continues until 3:00 in the afternoon. We went to pick her up around 11:00am!



Grandma and I have so much catching up to do. So I started with my pictures album. First pictures she wanted to see is my handsome fiancé! I show a lot of pictures of Eric and me. She thought that I have a lot of fiance because Eric seems to look different in all of the pictures. I had to tell her many times that it is the same person since we been together for four years now, each pictures is taken in different time of our lives. Then she understood and said, “Your fiancé is very handsome and tall too.” I just smile and agree with her. She asks if I miss him. I told her of course. So she counts the days for Eric arrival just like me!

Grandma is sad for my mother health and glad that there are program in America to take care of her condition. She is happy to see my father is no longer skinny. She said, “You father have some meat in him.” I told her my father does not drink or smoke anymore. He quiets everything for more than three years now. All he does take care of mom, walk the dog and does his work in the garden. She said my mother was once very beautiful until now that she is ill. She also would like to share some pictures with me when I visit her in Vietnam.



Grandma like all of my relatives who I have share the photos with is very impress with my life story and proud of all the accomplishments I have made. Grandma echo from what one of my aunt said, “No one in our family has ever study as high as you. This is why I am very proud of you.” Grandma also treats me like a princess just like everyone else. I am not sure what the reasons maybe but I’m starting to like it?? :) It is usually the other way around. I always have to take care of my family. I am very independent which sometime crash with their culture. Here, my relatives take care of me. They make sure I am safe, well feed,and get my school work done. If I need some space, all I have to say is I am studying. They respect that.



They value education like I do. The difference is that I am able to grant them because in America public education is free. If I want to continue I can with hard work of course. In Cambodia, they have to pay for education. Most of the time, people with money is able to send their kid to public school. I hope to help these poor children with education in any way that I can one day. If they are well educated,maybe the history of Khmer Rouge era won't exist again??