On adventure to find mom only sister left

October 17, 2009

Before I left for Cambodia, my father gave me a small piece of paper with my aunt from my mother side address to her village on the front page. On the back, he wrote how much money each person should get, which he sent with me to give.

I have wanted to meet my aunt from my mother side for awhile now. Since my mother have not spoken or see her only sister who is alive for more than 30 years, I figure what a great gift would it be if I can make this happen. However, every time I tried to go visit or find her, my aunt family from my father side said it is too dangerous. Since this is a rainy season’s month, they heard story that Prey Veng which is the province of my mother birth place and where her current sister live is flooded. Therefore, the road is in bad condition. How do you know the road is in bad condition? Have you been there? How do you know? I asked with frustration.

So my furious and curious side decided to just go. When I did decided to go, everyone else wanted to go too. You see, I am not the only one who has never been to Prey Veng, my two aunts, one of my aunt husband and their eldest son have never been there as well. So they all decided to come along.

Prey Veng Province is about 80 to 100 km from Phnom Penh. So it shouldn’t take that long to go to my aunt house. The most is three hours car drive to her village. The five of us drove in a mini 4 runner, which have air condition that kept us nice and cool. Everyone was excited. I pack few bottle of water, toilet paper and some fruits. Everyone look at me strangely. I told them that I am used to traveling especially to far rural places. Since I can’t drink regular water I need to pack some with me. I’m not sure if people in the village use toilet paper to wipe either but I wanted to be prepared. Everyone thought it was very smart of me for being prepare for the trip. They blame it on the fact that I have travel a lot to various countries which mean I must know how to travel as well.

Two hours later we made it to the ferry station. This only took us about half an hour to cross the river. While waiting to get on to the ferry, I was amazed with the various foods being sold on the street. The sale person would come to the window show me their products or food and ask if I would like to buy some. I said no. Then they say, "How much would you want it? I can lower the price for you." So I end up buying some food to eat and to bring them to my aunt and her daughters. Some of the sale person is young. I bought the food because I thought about my aunt and her four girls. If I buy food from these young girls is like helping out my aunt. What if one of these girls is my cousin or these women happen to be my aunt? I just don’t know because I have never met her. All I know she is very poor and is raising four girls on her own.

The easy part was over. Now, we have to travel to the town and go into deeper part of the villages. We stop in the mid day to eat lunch at Prey Veng center. Meanwhile, my uncle went to ask the local people of our next destination. It goes like this, “Just look for the tall antenna and a big tree. Then you will be in the town.” I am used to this method since Costa Rican has similar way of finding people houses. Of course those in the city are unfamiliar with this method. My aunt’s husband wanted to get to the right place so he asks, “What is the name of the road? What Address? The local people respond with confusing look, “What Name? What road? You’re kidding me right?” It is hard to find people with no sense of direction or address. You depend on trees, houses and buildings as a landmark. My aunt does not know that we are coming. There is no way of contacting her. All we have is a little piece of paper with her address from many years ago.

The search took us for another 4 to 5 hours. We would stop in every little town and villages. I felt the whole time we were going in circle. It was getting dark, I was determined to at least see my aunt and where she lives if I can’t stay and spend time with her. Dispute the long adventure search; I fell in love with Prey Veng country side. It is true like people had been saying, the water cover some of the houses and roads. I was fascinated with the country side houses. They are built tall. What I mean is that the house would have six legs which support it. The legs are tall as 6ft to 10ft from the ground. The reason is obvious, in case the village is flooded, the house would be above the water. The roof and wall of the house are made out of thatches and bamboos. To think about it, it reminds me of the time my father built our house out of bamboos in one of the refugees’ camps we lived.

Along the roads, miles of endless water cover the rice peddles farmers, cows, and ox, children, and palm trees. The palm trees have coconuts not like Californian. The fresh cool wind would blow my hair as I rolled down the window to smell the various plants and animals poops.

Every stop we made it would take us about 10 to 15 minutes to chat and ask for direction. I think we stop more than 15 times. It is hard to find my aunt house since there is no address or phone number to contact her. What if we get there and she does not live there anymore? We left at 8:30am and now it is 7:00pm.

Finally, almost twelve hours later we found my aunt village. This is how it happen, “Excuse me, would you know a woman name Chanton? No one seems to know. Except a local nurse who heard that name before. He said, "Chanton is in the United State but Chantol her sister live here." I told him Chanton is my mother name. With excitement of knowing someone heard of her or my mother. So we follow him through the cow road as they called it. The road is cover with cow and bulls foot prints and water. The red dirt roads prevent us to go any faster or smother as we would like too.

The week or day before I went and search for my aunt, people would ask where I am going this weekend. I would tell them that I am going to Prey Veng. They were shock and said, “Why? It is such a poor province.” When we arrived to my aunt village, they were right. I have never see such poverty or poor condition as I saw tonight. The village was so rural that the government has not provided them street lights or even electricity in the village. I was not sure who is who. It was too dark inside and outside. Everyone said they were my aunts and cousins. The only aunt I looked for was not found. The bamboo thatch house has no light not even a candle to light. One of the lady said she is my aunt. To make sure I called my mother from the state. My mother did not want to talk with her and asked where her sister is. So the lady said, “Your aunt does not live here anymore. She lived in the center of Prey Veng.” I said with anger, “Why did you kick her out or treat her very badly?” Once I finish saying this, someone yelled in the dark saying, "So what if we did?

My feelings were mix and unsure of how to handle the situation. The lady who claims to be my aunt is my mother step sister. Just like the Cinderella story, my mother and her sister was treated badly by their step mother and sisters growing up. I haven’t heard the whole story but I know my gut tell me that it was not right and that I need to get out of there right away. I think my relatives has the same feelings. We try to come up with an excuse to leave as soon as possible. The step mother and daughters along with their family have asked us to spend the night. I was not sure where they have in mind for us to sleep but in the small no light thatch house, it is impossible. Beside, anyone that my mother does not like means bad news.

Before we left, I make sure to get my aunt contact information. At first they said they don’t know. Then I told them that my mother is very ill and all she ask for is to hear her sister voice. So they tell me where she lives and even a contact number where I can get a hold of her. However, they don’t know the phone number. I have to go to another village to get it if I wanted it. They wanted me to go alone with some guy they claim to be my step cousin. I said no, I will wait here in the car. The local nurse was nice enough to go and get it for me. About twenty minutes later the local nurse came with a contact phone number.

However, those twenty minutes was not easy. The steps siblings constantly ask us to stay and money. Someone yell out, “Some of our neighbors have family in the US and they would send them money so they can build a house. All we ask for is $7,000.” I started too worried for my safety and wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. They would cover me like flies and touch me everywhere. I was so uncomfortable that I end up waiting in the car where it was hot. I rather be in the hot car than touch by people I don’t even know.

We left right away once we got the phone number. The step siblings would try to make us feel bad by saying, “You came to visit auntie and grandma yet you are in a hurry to leave? This really hurt. Do you know how much you hurt me?” I thought to myself but also end up saying it out loud, “I came here to look for my aunt, you’re not my aunt.” She replied, “Even though I am not your mother sister, I still have some of the same blood.” Then I realized talking with these people like this won't work. So I talked to them nicely and told them that I will visit again when I am on break from school. I think they somewhat believes me because they end up letting us go.

With the guide from the local nurse, we manage to get out of the village safely. The whole night coming back to Phnom Penh, we talked about our adventure and my mother step siblings. I found out that I was not the only one who was scared and worried. My relatives were also concerns for their safely and especially my. We did not get back to Phnom Penh until 11:30pm! Now, they have a crazy story to tell our neighbors and relatives. Over all, I had a great time seeing my mother province, met people who hurt her as a child, got lost in the country side and spending time with my father siblings. There is nothing more than I can ask for this memorable adventure day.